When going through a divorce or separation, there are lots of issues you need to address. From dividing your property to splitting parenting time (if you have minor children), each of these issues requires careful consideration.
Each of these issues also has the potential to lead to a dispute. Oftentimes, divorcing spouses and separating partners will have conflicting goals during the process. For example, both spouses may want to keep living in the family home, or both partners may want the ability to spend the holidays with their children. If not managed effectively, these conflicts can devolve into contentious arguments, and this can make the divorce or separation process far more expensive and time-consuming than it needs to be.
5 Key Facts About Mediation for Spouses and Partners
To resolve their differences without going to court, many divorcing spouses and separating partners choose to pursue mediation. When both parties are willing to engage in the process in good faith, mediation can be a highly effective tool for resolving differences amicably. If you are anticipating disagreements during your divorce or separation—or if you have encountered an impasse during a divorce or separation—here is an overview of what you need to know:
1. There Are Two Primary Ways to Pursue Mediation During a Divorce or Separation
When it comes to pursuing mediation during a divorce or separation, spouses and partners have two primary options: (i) they can each hire their own attorney, or (ii) they can both work directly with the mediator.
Each of these options offers different benefits under different circumstances. For example, by hiring his or her own attorney, a spouse or partner can get personalized legal advice focused on his or her own best interests. When you hire an attorney to represent you, the attorney is your advocate, and he or she will help you make informed decisions focused on your individual wants and needs. For many spouses and partners—and particularly for those with substantial assets or income—this legal advice can prove invaluable during the divorce or separation process.
With the second option—working directly with a mediator—the primary benefit is cost reduction. Rather than paying their attorneys and a mediator, the spouses or partners just pay a mediator. The mediator helps them gather all required information, identify all of the issues they need to resolve, work toward a resolution, and then finalize their divorce or separation in a binding agreement.
2. The Mediator is a Facilitator, Not a Decision-Maker
Unlike a judge in court, a mediator is not a decision-maker. The mediator’s role is not to listen to each spouse’s or partner’s arguments and then tell them how things will be. Instead, the mediator’s role is that of a facilitator.
One of the mediator’s main jobs is to make sure each party sees the other party’s point of view. Once each party understands where the other party is coming from, both parties are more likely to be willing to compromise. A skilled mediator will help each party convey his or her position, point out areas of common ground, and then steer the parties’ discussions toward a mutually-agreeable resolution.
Another of the mediator’s main jobs is to correct any misconceptions. This is especially important when spouses or partners are pursuing a divorce or separation without hiring attorneys to represent them. All of the key issues involved—property division, debt division, financial support, child support, and child custody—involve complex legal concepts, and it is common for both parties to have misunderstandings. Rather than allowing these misunderstandings to result in unproductive disputes, a skilled mediator will explain how the law really applies and then offer suggestions for moving forward.
3. Working with a Mediator Can Help Spouses or Partners Avoid Overlooking Important Matters
Working with a skilled mediator also helps ensure that divorcing spouses or separating partners do not overlook any important matters. Overlooking important matters during a divorce or separation can lead to both additional costs and additional disputes down the line.
For example, let’s say you and your spouse both have retirement accounts. But, let’s say your spouse’s retirement account is worth significantly more than yours. If you, like many people, assume that each spouse should just keep his or her own account, you will overlook the need to split all of your marital assets equally. When you eventually discover that you received far less than you deserved in your divorce, you will face a costly uphill battle to try to correct your mistake.
There are numerous other examples of commonly overlooked issues as well. From failing to address joint debts to failing to account for birthdays and summer vacations in your child custody arrangement, a skilled mediator can help ensure that you do not leave any important issues unresolved.
4. Mediation is Flexible and Informal, and Spouses and Partners Can Tailor It To Their Specific Needs
While using mediation for a divorce or separation adds structure, the process is still flexible and fairly informal. Spouses or partners can schedule mediation sessions at mutually-agreeable times, and they don’t have to wear dress clothes or say, “Your Honor.”
Divorcing spouses and separating partners can also tailor mediation to their specific needs. For example, once divorcing spouses are in agreement regarding how to divide their property, they don’t need to belabor the point unnecessarily. They can simply move on to the next issue, and they can keep moving forward as efficiently as possible.
5. Mediation is a Cost-Effective Option
Finally, in virtually all circumstances, mediation is a highly cost-effective option. This is true whether each party hires his or her own attorney or the parties choose to work with a mediator directly. By keeping the process civil (and keeping it out of court), mediation cuts down on the time and costs involved, and it also significantly reduces the risk of a post-divorce or post-separation dispute arising down the line.
Inquire About Our Divorce or Separation Mediation Services
Arizona family law attorney Adam Weingart represents divorcing spouses and separating partners, and he also serves as a mediator for divorces and separations. Our firm offers flat-fee mediation services for couples who choose to work with us directly. To learn more in a free initial consultation, please call 480-385-7610 or contact us confidentially online today.
